Since you have a Minear quote in your sig, you might be interested in the blog of Mutant Enemy veteran Jane Espenson. The focus is mainly on writing TV spec scripts, but she spends a lot of time analyzing jokes and what makes them good. One of her big points is that jokes should reveal character -- perhaps that's why your characters balk at some of the ones you engineer and put into their mouths, while they come up with much better ones on their own.

--ich sage nicht, was ich will, sondern was die Sprache will--
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